All my life I had to fight!

Hello there!!! I am so happy to witness yet another day. It was a test getting up this morning. I really was deep in sleep and enjoying every last second of my comfy duvet.. sooooooo this weekend went "as planned" I relaxed all day long saturday and spent all day in church on sunday. For no reason I let the enemy have his way and I was just a lil' irritated and sloppy on sunday morning but as soon as the word came forth "GOD IS ABLE" -Matthew 9 when Jesus healed the blind man. I was kicked right back to my high spirits and ended up crawling on the floor in worship!
I mean God was on fiyah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PURE FIYAH! His word was so sharp and it convicted me and I am determined to bury my flesh! I am so ungrateful and complacent and GOD HATES THIS.. When I read on how such behaviour is offensive to God in the old testament, (the israelites complained they had no food, and that God had abandoned them when they lingered in the wilderness) I realise the problem is we dont TRUST GOD. He said "If we have faith the size of a mustard seed.. you could say to this mountain be moved and cast into the sea and it will obey you" Luke 17:5-6
This is where I struggle..TRUSTING IN GOD! I want to put my trust in him for EVERYTHING. HOW DO I DO THIS? HOW LONG DOES HE TAKE? are questions I will pay any amount to know but I guess that is the mystery. We have been trained to work hard to get what we want but there are somethings purely in the hands of God. For single ladies, it may be finding the right partner (does he share the same beliefs, is he financially stable, is he capable of taking care of a family)the right job, the career, reaching your goals, coming out of a bad relationship, letting go of your past, issues with unforgivesness, telling someone you love them, dealing with rejection, dealing with people, hell on your job, hell at home and many more.
So, with all of the worries and concerns about this life and the future.. I have decided that faith along with patience are 2 of the core components I need to aquire in order to run my race (with christ) more smoothly. I will need to seriously search deep within and connect with my inner man who has brought me so far. Little by little, step by step, brick by brick and stone by stone speak life into these situations and into my future and I believe it will surprise me what the lord can do. I believe I will look back and say WOW! LOOK AT GOD!

Have you ever felt like God is too busy to be concerned with your little problems?
Have you ever felt like God is sleeping and forgot about you?
Have you ever felt like you have prayed the same prayer one too many times?
Have you ever questioned the existence of God just because you feel unheard?

This is where I feel Sofia'S STRUGGLE through life in the color purple:
“All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain't safe in a family of men, but I ain't never thought I'd have to fight in my own house!”

It can be exasperating and overwhelming even though hers was an entirely different battle (rape/abuse). All my life I have had to fight for what I wanted and I'm still fighting for what I want and at some point I am expecting a break! you know, see the light at the end of the tunell but that is a joke right?
To all you people... handling the kids, handling school and work, fighting for a raise, a new job or getting to that next level in your career is not automatic. It is SERIOUS WORK! KUDOS!
These are just my thoughts all we can do it trudge along and give everything 100%. "TAKE IT" (life's blows) and be happy you are still here. We have the greatest gift of all FREEDOM OF CHOICE.. Be the best or remain mediocre.

xxxx